


So long to the life I’ve known

by UndertheWeather15



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:01:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndertheWeather15/pseuds/UndertheWeather15
Summary: When Jean was only about 8 years old, she was involved in a deadly crash that killed both of her parents. Charles Xavier, a powerful telepath, offered her a home at his school, which she hesitantly accepted. He had raised her ever since, and since that day she knew her life would change. Whether it would be for the better or the worse she has no idea.AKA; Charles pretty much adopts Jean because I love their relationship in the apocalypse and dark Phoenix movie(I know I’ve been posting new works without finishing old ones but this is just to try to keep uploading without losing complete motivation)
Relationships: Alex Summers & Scott Summers, Jean Grey & Charles Xavier, Raven | Mystique & Charles Xavier
Kudos: 14





	1. Prologue

_”Jean, stop it,” Her father scolded her as the radio of the car continued to switch back and forth._

_”It’s not me,” She said honestly. For the most part, at least. It was her, but she had no idea that it was, because she wasn’t doing it willingly._

_Her mother looked up in the mirror and smiled reassuringly at her before she reached to turn it back to its original spot. But unfortunately, it was a dangerous distraction. The car veered to the left, smashing right into a truck and being sent into the air, flipping over as it did so._

_Most people in this situation would have screamed, or cried, or anything at all. But Jean was silent, her expression seemingly frozen in numb horror as the car crashed into the ground on its roof. It took her a moment to process what had just occurred, and miraculously, she was mainly unscathed, save for a few cuts and scratches, but nothing as she would have expected of a vehicular accident of this severity._

_The young girl unbuckled her seatbelt shakily, immediately dropping to the roof below her._

_”Mom?” She asked, looking up at the two motionless bodies hanging by their seatbelts at the front of the car. “Dad?”_

_Without even having to check, she knew the truth._

_They were dead._

13 year old Jean Grey jolted up from her bed with heaving breaths. She looked around her surroundings and found she was still in Charles’ mansion.

She sighed in relief. It was just a dream-er, a flashback of sorts, because it was a repeat of what happened on that fateful day, a day she didn’t like to remember.

Almost immediately, she heard her door creak open and saw Charles rolling inside toward her, his expression both knowing and sorrowful.

“I-I saw-“

”I know.”

She was about to ask how, but then she suddenly felt incredibly stupid. First off, he pretty much had the same telepathic abilities as he, but hers were significantly more powerful. And plus, she’s been having reoccurring nightmares; or flashbacks, for the past few days.

He rolled closer and stopped at the side of her bed, eyes glancing up and spotting the burns on the wall that she had unknowingly caused.

The young girl followed his gaze, muttering a small apology for the structural damage she had caused. She made herself swear that she’d fix it.

But Charles reached out and rested a hand on her shoulder. “It’s quite alright. It wasn’t your fault, plus it can be fixed pretty quickly.”

Jean smiled weakly, casting her eyes down toward the bed sheets.

”Lie back,” Charles instructed gently, locking his wheelchair in place as he maneuvered his legs to a more comfortable position.

Jean slowly lowered herself back down onto the soft pillows, watching as the Professor pushed himself up from his chair and settled himself down on the edge of the bed.

“Nothing that happened was your fault, Jean,” He assured her, leaning down and resting a hand on the side of her head. “I will teach you to control your powers. And when you do learn, you will have nothing to fear.”

Jean gave a tired nod, feeling herself start to drift off suddenly. She knew it was Charles’ doing, because she was wide awake moments before.

He placed a soft kiss to her forehead before leaning back up. “Get some sleep..”

He maneuvered himself, uncomfortably, back into his wheelchair, sparing a few second glance at the now-sleeping girl before rolling out of the room, shutting the door softly behind him.


	2. Chapter 1

16 year old Jean Grey was sat on a bench just outside the mansion. She had a few books she was reading, studying for a quiz in one of her classes as she watched some of the other kids play in the courtyard.

A small smile graced her features. If only she could have this kind of peace. But wherever she went, guilt and despair seemed to follow, even in temporary moments of happiness. 

She knew she shouldn’t be so reserved, but it was hard to make any kinds of friends, especially with powers like hers. Most of them would be afraid she would look into their mind or control them or something of that topic. And she was worried they’d reject her. Besides, she hadn’t had much contact with anyone other than Charles and Hank McCoy. 

She looked back down at the book she was currently intrigued in, not noticing when the new kid, Scott Summers, had sat down next to her. Unlike before when he wore a bandage around his eyes, when she finally noticed him, he was wearing glasses.

“Hey, Scott,” She said, sliding her bookmark in the page she hadn’t finished reading before closing the cover.

“Jean,” He said, a small smile following. “What are you reading?”

Jean sighed. “A book for one of my classes. It’s not too bad.”

“I couldn’t even sit still for 5 seconds,” Scott joked. “I don’t know how you do all this.”

The young teenager chuckled. “It was hard at first, but after a while it became my life and I got accustomed to it.”

Scott smiled, this time a much larger and happier smile. Jean found herself staring at him for a few moments before she snapped back into reality. 

“You want a tour around the school?” She asked. “Judging on my own experiences, you could probably use some help.”

Scott laughed. “Yeah, I do. This place is huge. The Professor must be a pretty rich guy.”

Jean grinned. “He sure is.”

“When did you come here?” Scott suddenly asked, curious. 

“A while ago. The Professor brought me in when I was 8 and raised me ever since.”

“What happened to your parents?” Scott asked, brows furrowing.

Jean went quiet, her eyes casting toward the grass as she kicked up some dirt with her boots. “Died in a car crash..”

Scott’s expression saddened. “Oh..I’m sorry.”

Jean looked up at him and smiled softly. “It’s okay.” 

She gathered her school supplies into her arms and stood up. “Come on. I’ll show you around.”

“—and this is my room,” Jean opened the door to her own small apartment-like area. Scott noticed it was relatively neat. Definitely much neater than his own room back at home. He wasn’t sure what the other rooms looked like, though.

“This is nice,” He complimented. “Do all the rooms look like this?”

Jean nodded. “Mhm. Though, some kids have things organized different than others.”

She sat down on her bed, looking through some of her notebooks and completely losing track of time. Truth be told, she was supposed to be in her next class, but had gotten distracted.

Scott sat down next to her, watching what she was doing before there was a gentle knock at the door.

“Jean?” The Professor’s voice rang out as he rolled into the room. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

The girl spun around in surprise, dropping some of her things and immediately catching it mid-air with her telekinesis. Scott watched in amazement as they floated back up to the pile of supplies on her lap.

“Sorry, Professor,” She apologized. “I was showing Scott around and got a bit..erm, distracted.”

Charles glanced over toward Scott and his expression shifted into one of sudden understanding. “That’s very nice of you, Jean.”

Jean smiled as Charles rolled over to Scott. “And Scott? I hope you don’t mind sharing some classes with Jean. You don’t have to start until tomorrow, but she can show you around and get you accustomed to the school until then.”

Scott shook his head. “I don’t mind at all, Professor.”

Charles smiled, albeit knowingly as he turned back to Jean. “I’ll let the rest of your teachers know that you won’t be showing up for the rest of your classes.”

Jean grinned, glancing toward Scott in sudden excitement. “Thank you, Professor.”

Charles turned to roll out. “I’ll leave you two at it.”

“He’s a nice guy,” Scott noticed, still staring after where the paraplegic man had left.

Jean nodded in agreement. “He really is. Great sense of humor too,” She chuckled. “You’ll love him.”

Scott had a feeling that would turn out to be true sooner or later. In fact, he was already beginning to like the man. 

They stayed in Jean’s room for a few hours after that; surprisingly, all the way until it got dark, and Scott had to return to his own room.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, smiling at her. Surprisingly, she smiled back, setting her things on the dresser beside her. 

“See you tomorrow.”

Scott nodded and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Jean smiled. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.


	3. Chapter 2

Jean woke up very early the next morning to a loud roar of thunder. The weather had taken a sour turn during the night.

She hated thunderstorms.

She could hear the rain pounding on her window, sounding like someone’s fist was knocking against it. The heavy winds also made it sound like there was someone whistling. 

Knowing she wasn’t going to get any sleep, Jean leaned back on her bed and levitated her pencil and notebook over to herself so that she could draw, occupying and distracting herself while the thunder and lighting roared in the background. The sudden bright flashes of lights startled her at times, and even sent her into a flashback of the car crash for what must have been like the 100th time that month.

She moved her pencil lightly across the surface of the paper, sketching the outline of the mansion going off pure memory. Jean was quite fond of the school now. Not just because of the classes but because of the family she had made here. Hank, Charles, Raven. And now even Scott, but she had a feeling that her feelings for him were turning into something more, something she hadn’t felt ever in her life.

Something new.

Jean laughed slightly to herself. Why would someone like Scott like someone like her in that way? She felt she wasn’t worthy of being girlfriend material. But it was hard to ignore the feelings and the pressure inside her chest every time she looked at him. 

She quickly found she didn’t even need to look in his mind to figure he felt the same way about her. At least she didn’t have to worry about being rejected.

But this feeling felt so unnatural..so foreign to her. She didn’t even know what to do in this situation. So she just kept sketching, trying her best to ignore the loud roar of the powerful wind whipping around outside, along with the cracking and loud explosions of lighting striking the earth and the loud booms of thunder radiating through the air, hinting that a lightning strike was soon to follow.

After a few minutes, she placed her pencil and notebook on the edge of the bed and stood up, walking cautiously over to the window as another flash of white lit up part of her room. For a split second, she could make out the large and pitch black clouds looming over the land. But then all she saw was the darkness awaiting outside.

She sighed, lowering herself back onto her bed and she glanced at the nearly finished sketch of the mansion. To her, it looked pretty believable, but she didn’t know what anybody else would think. She had no intention of showing anyone anyway. Except for Scott. Maybe.

Jean smiled to herself before she closed her notebook and levitated it back over to where it was resting over top of the dresser. She then laid back down, drifting into what she thought would be a peaceful sleep.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t. She woke up more violently than she had expected and literally threw herself off her bed, landing on the floor with a painful thud.

She groaned, rubbing her throbbing head with her hand as she sat up. The door came open a few seconds later and Hank came in, kneeling down next to her. “Are you alright?”

Jean nodded and Hank offered a hand, pulling her to her feet. “Another nightmare?”

She shrugged. “Kind of. More like a memory being replayed over and over again in my head.”

Hank hummed, then nodded. “That’s not a surprise for someone who’s been psychologically traumatized. You’ve been through a lot, with your parents’ death and everything.”

“Yeah..” She croaked, lowering herself back into her bed and running a hand across her face. “I just don’t understand why they won’t go away. I hate reliving that moment over and over pretty much every single night.”

“I know,” Hank said, expression solemn. “Although unfortunately, it might take a while. But Charles and I are here to help you when you need it.”

Jean nodded in understanding. She knew that Charles would definitely be there for her, saying he’s been doing that for about 8 years. 

“You gonna be alright?” Hank asked.

“Yeah..” Jean replied. 

Hank nodded before he turned and walked out the door.

Not long after he left, the door opened back up and Scott came in, a concerned look on his face.

“Jean?” He asked, lowering himself on the bed next to her. “What happened?”

She sighed, glancing up at him hesitantly. “Just a dream.”

“Nightmare?” He asked, getting at what she was hinting at. She nodded and turned away. “More like reliving a memory.”

She blinked suddenly and looked up. “Wait a minute-“

A sudden, mischievous smile crossed Scott’s face.

“Raven?”

The boy in front of her suddenly changed, shape shifting back into the natural blue form of Mystique. “Hey, Jean.”

Her eyes shot open. “Oh my god,” She laughed, wrapping her arms around the shape shifting mutant, who returned the embrace.

“When did you get back?” Jean asked, pulling back.

“A couple minutes ago, actually,” Mystique replied with a smile. She shifted back into her usual human-form. 

“Wow,” Jean breathed with another short laugh. “No one said anything about you coming back today.”

“That’s because I wanted to keep it a surprise,” Raven laughed. “Brighten up your mood.”

“Well you definitely succeeded,” Jean smiled.

“I’m glad,” Raven replied. “So, nightmares, huh?”

Jean sighed. “Yeah, kind of. Though they’re mostly flashbacks. I’m just reliving the car accident over and over again. Even though nothing changes it still feels like a nightmare.”

Raven nodded sadly. “I’m here if you need me.”

Jean smiled. “Thanks, Raven.”

She nodded and got up. “No problem. I’ll catch up with you later?”

The telepath nodded. “Yeah.”

And then Raven was gone.

Jean sat on her bed, sighing, before taking notice of the time and immediately changing into appropriate clothing.

“Better get to class..Scott will be waiting,” She muttered, gathering her supplies and heading out the door.


	4. Chapter 3

As soon as her 2nd class ended, Jean was suddenly aware of how horrible she felt. When she first woke up, even after her flashback, she felt fine, albeit a little shocked and still reeling from the nightmare. But now, she felt tired and severely nauseous, as if she would keel over and puke right then and there.

Luckily, although she didn’t want to admit it, Scott noticed her face pale. He gently reached out and touched her shoulder. “Jean?”

The physical contact snapped Jean out of her dull thoughts. She lifted her head, blinking sluggishly as she looked back at Scott. “Yeah?”

“Are you alright?” He asked, concerned. “You don’t look so good. Do you want me to get Hank? Or the Professor—“

Jean shook her head, and immediately her vision swam. “No..” She swallowed. “No, I’m okay..”

“You’re pale and sweating. You look disgusting.”

“Thank you for that.”

“Well it’s true.”

Jean allowed a sudden chuckle to escape, but she regret it immediately, feeling the food she had eaten a few minutes ago instantly climbing back up to her mouth.

She threw her hand over her mouth as a sudden wave of dizziness washed over her. She groaned, feeling her knees buckle under her weight as all of her supplies dropped to the ground with a loud, echoing thud.

“Jean!”

Scott dropped to the ground next to her, placing the back of his hand over her forehead. He winced and pulled back. “You’re burning up. Wait here, I’ll go get Hank.”

Jean wanted to protest. She didn’t need help, she was completely fine. But her aching stomach and her swimming vision proved otherwise.

Scott ran through the school, looking practically everywhere. When he couldn’t find Hank, he decided to check the Professor’s office.

He threw the door open, immediately spotting Charles at his desk. The Professor looked up in surprise. 

“Scott?”

“I think Jean’s sick,” Scott said, out of breath. “I don’t know where Hank is-“

Charles’ brows furrowed as he backed up, rolling around his desk. “Where is she?”

Scott motioned for him to follow as he lead Charles’ through the corridors, leading him to where Jean was sitting up against the wall, hunched over herself as she tried desperately to avoid throwing up.

“Jean?” Scott asked, kneeling down and shaking her shoulder. She lifted her head weakly, glancing over at Scott and then spotting the Professor.

“Professor-“

“It’s fine,” He replied before Jean could even try to apologize. He rolled closer to her, studying her pale face. At this point, she was starting to sweat profusely.

He lowered his hand, pressing the back side of it against Jean’s forehead. He pulled his hand back in alarm. “Oh dear, she is burning up.”

He reached his hand up to the side of his face, closing his eyes for a split second before opening them up again. “Hank should be coming.”

Jean groaned, then threw her head forward, her chest suddenly heaving as she opened her mouth to throw up, making the gag reflex, but all that came out was a few specks.

Charles’ eyes softened as he reached down and rubbed her back as she coughed repeatedly, bringing in a large amount of air.

“Is she going to be okay?” Scott asked in concern.

“I think she’ll be alright,” Charles said, looking up but keeping his hand on her back. “It’s happened before. It’ll go away within a few days.”

Scott nodded, the tenseness in his shoulders dissipating.

Footsteps coming down the hall toward them caught their attention. Scott looked up and noticed Hank coming toward them, his expression shifting to concern when he saw Jean.

“What happened?” He asked, kneeling in front of her. He tipped her chin up gently with his fingers. “Jean?”

She blinked sluggishly, looking up. “Yeah..?”

“Just making sure you’re still alive,” Hank joked with a grin.

“Of co’rs’ ‘m still alive..” She muttered, her words starting to slur. “I’m still breathing ain’t I?”

“Yeah, you’re still breathing from what I can tell,” Hank laughed. “At least you’ve still got your sense of humor.”

“It’s p’rman’nt..”

Hank smiled. “Come on, let’s get you back to your room.”

Jean nodded as both Hank and Scott helped her to her feet, she leaned forward almost immediately, but they both caught her as they lead her back toward her room. Charles wheeled along behind them.

Once they got there, Jean lowered herself down onto her bed, practically collapsing immediately as her head hit the soft pillow, pulling the blanket over her body.

Hank placed a pack of ice over her forehead. She groaned, shifting uncomfortably as she slipped into an uneasy sleep.

Scott sighed, watching as her chest rose and fell.

“She’ll be fine,” Hank said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “She just needs some rest. But I’ll run some tests just to make sure.”

Scott nodded, watching as Hank pulled out a syringe and gently knelt by Jean’s arm. 

Charles rolled forward, gently placing a hand on the side of her head to keep her calm, just in case the sharp sting from the needle caused her to panic.

“Sorry about this,” Hank muttered, sliding it into her wrist. She groaned, her head turning uncomfortably to the side.

Hank pulled it out. “Done.”

Charles removed his hand, turning and watching as Hank put the syringe in his bag. “I’ll go run some tests. Someone should keep an eye on her just ik case something changes.”

Charles glanced over at Scott. “Go get some rest, Scott. I’ll watch her.”

The boy nodded before walking out of the door after Hank, shutting it softly behind him.

Charles looked down at Jean, resting his hand on her arm as she moved around uncomfortably in her sleep, occasionally letting out a weak groan.

After a few minutes, Jean’s restlessness started to increase. It was clear that she had dove head first into a nightmare, which was clear by her small whimpers and her muscles clenching under her skin.

“No..” She whispered. “N-No, please-“

“Jean..” Charles whispered. “Jean, it’s just a dream.”

When that didn’t work, he placed a hand on the side of her face, closing his eyes. 

She suddenly gasped awake, sitting up extremely fast. Her vision swam and tears quickly filling her vision afterward. Charles locked his wheelchair and shifted himself up onto the bed.

“Jean?”

Her head whipped around toward him, and although she was still feeling like garbage, she reached out and wrapped her arms around him, her body trembling.

“It was different this time..” She croaked, squeezing him like he was a lifeline.

He returned the embrace, resting his hand on the back of her head. 

“I-it was so-I-I couldn’t—“

“I know..” Charles whispered. And he did know. He’s had plenty of nightmares before. Some too traumatic for him to recall. “You’re safe..”

She choked back a sob, burying her face into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry..I’m so—“

Charles immediately shushed her. “Jean. Jean, it’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself for something you can’t control. And it’s not like you hurt anybody.”

“But I could have-“

“But you didn’t.”

Jean sniffled, not making any hint to move away from him. He could still feel the heat radiating off of her, and no doubt she’d probably be asleep soon.

She buried her head into the crook of his neck, practically curling against him like some small animal. He figured half of it was her being half delusional from being sick and the other half was her desperately wanting physical comfort; something to ground her and remind her she was still here and not in whatever dream she just had.

Her eyes slowly slid closed, and within a few seconds her breathing evened out and he immediately knew she was asleep.

He really did not want to wake her. She needed the sleep desperately, so he just stayed there and held her for a few hours until he felt it was safe to lay her back down. Once he did, he shifted back into his wheelchair and before he could even make the decision of whether or not he should leave, he was out as well.


	5. Chapter 4

Jean woke up with a groan. She still felt extremely miserable from the night before, but it was definitely a better night’s sleep.

“How are you feeling?”

She blinked in surprise, looking up toward the Professor.

“Not bad..” She muttered, rubbing her eyes with her hands.”still sick..”

“I figured as much,” Charles replied, glancing toward the doorway. “Hank should be coming up soon.”

Jean nodded. Though, she hoped the results of the test didn’t come back as something more severe than what she thought she had. Because right now, she wasn’t feeling relatively bad, though it tended to get worse as she went throughout her day.

Moments later, the door swung open and Hank walked in. Jean felt her stomach clench at the worried expression on his face.

“Well?”

“It’s worse than I thought,” Hank admitted with a sigh. “I’m warning you now, it’s gonna get a lot worse. You’ll probably start experiencing hallucinations at one point or another. So if you see something crazy, it’s not real.”

She swallowed nervously, nodding her head.

“Is there anything you can do for her?” Charles asked.

“Well, I’ve been working on a vaccine to ease the symptoms,” Hank replied. “Otherwise we may have to let it run its course.”

Charles nodded in understanding, glancing over at Jean who had went much paler, though he could guess not from her illness but just from shock

“How worse do you think it’s gonna get?” She asked. “Aside from the hallucinations..”

Hank looked over her and sighed. “Jean, if it gets as bad as I think it is, it’s going to have some sort of affect on your powers.”

Her eyes shot open as she looked down at her shaking hands.

“But that does not mean you’re losing control over them. It shouldn’t get bad enough to where you’re hurting anybody.”

Jean looked up. “Shouldn’t-?”

“I’m not sure,” Hank replied, brows furrowing. “It could be worse. But we just have to wait and see.”

She nodded and groaned, laying back down on the bed and putting her hands over her face.

“You’ll be alright,” Charles reassured her.

She said nothing, she just laid back and tried to calm her breathing. 

Great.

So she might have her powers affected to?

She wasn’t even aware of when Hank and Charles left the room. When she looked up again, she was alone, so she decided to try to get more sleep, which didn’t work out. At all.

As soon as she woke up, she heard loud whispers in the back of her head, which were starting to become annoying. She tried blocking them out, but it sounded like they were only getting louder.

“Stop..” She groaned. She couldn’t understand what they were saying, but they didn’t really matter.

They were slowly getting louder, and she could feel her muscles tense up as she shifted in her bed, lifting her hands up to her head.

“Go away..” 

She bolted upright in her bed, clutching her head as the voices only got louder. She rocked back and forth, trying to ignore them because it was probably apart of her illness getting worse.

But it was nearly impossible. 

Getting to her feet, she stumbled against her dresser, knocking the lamp that was sat on it onto the floor. It shattered, and she silently swore to herself.

“No..-“ She clutched her head, feeling energy building up inside her. “Please, no-“

The door came open and Hank was about to step inside, but froze.

“Jean!”

She spun around too fast. In doing so, the energy that was building up in her body was rapidly released, sending Hank flying into the corridor wall.

“Hank-!”

Jean stepped into the hallway, wanting to help him because she accidentally—

She hurt someone.

She heard more footsteps, spinning around and seek Scott and the Professor approaching them.

“Jean?” Scott asked.

“What happened?” Charles asked, glancing down at Hank. “Hank, are you alright?”

The scientist groaned and got to his feet. “Yeah, I’ll be good.”

Jean’s eyes widened as she stepped backward. 

“Jean, we want to help you,” Scott pleaded.

“You can’t help me,” She growled, immediately taken about by how harsh her voice sounded.

The voices started again, like a chant. She raised her hands to her head, shutting her eyes tight. 

“Go away..”

“Jean-“ Charles started.

“Jean, calm down,” Hank pleaded. “This isn’t your fault.”

“SHUT UP!” She screamed, her hands falling from her head as another burst of energy was released. Hank was slammed back into the wall, while Scott and Charles were thrown backward. Charles didn’t move as far as Scott because of his wheelchair, but his wheelchair fell to its side and Charles immediately hit the floor with a grunt.

Tears started to roll down her face as she gripped her head again. “I hate this..” 

Scott looked up at her.

“I hate this..make it stop, I hate this..” She croaked.

Hank’s face suddenly lit up with an idea. He grabbed the vaccine he had been working on out of his pocket. It wasn’t completely finished, but she hoped it would hold her.

“Jean,” He said cautiously, standing up. “Jean listen to me, I can help you.”

She looked over at him, her vision narrowing in on the syringe he was holding. 

On instinct, she panicked, and her powers grew increasingly out of control as she stepped back, the syringe suddenly floating out of his hand and toward her without her trying.

Hank’s eyes shot open.

She grabbed it, then casually knocked Hank unconscious against the wall as she walked toward Scott and Charles, casually dropping the syringe behind her.

“Jean, he made that to help you,” Scott pleaded. “Jea—“ He gasped, feeling himself being lifted into the air, hands going to his throat.

“Jean,” Charles called. “Jean, stop. We can help you.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, tears dripping down her face as she tried to ground herself, but nothing was working.

After a few seconds, she forcefully dropped Scott to the ground, stumbling backward and grasping her head.

“It won’t stop..” She choked. “I want to—but it won’t stop-”

“Come here,” Charles said.

“But I’ll hurt you-“

“No, you won’t,” Charles replied. “I can help calm you down.”

Jean swallowed nervously and nodded, walking toward him and dropping to her knees almost immediately. 

He reached his hand out and rested it on the side of her face. He shut his eyes in concentration.

Jean gasped, her arm shooting out and wrapping around his wrist. Almost immediately, he felt a large wave of nausea and dizziness wash over him, but he forced it aside, waiting until Jean calmed down and fell back on her heels to let his hand drop.

Hank started to stir, groaning in pain as he got to his feet. He spotted Jean a few feet from the Professor, who had suddenly paled and his breathing suddenly turned labored.

“Charles!”

Jean saw this change as well, feeling pure terror shoot through her body as Charles’ arm went limp and he toppled back toward the ground.

She rushed forward, catching him just before his head made contact with the floor. Hank was kneeling down beside him as he gasped for air, occasionally coughing pretty hard.

“Jean, what did you do?” Hank asked, placing his fingers at Charles’ neck. 

“I don’t know!” She sobbed. “I don’t know what I did—“

Hank noticed how weak Charles’ pulse had suddenly become. His nose had also started to bleed as he struggled to breathe.

“Charles?” He asked. “Charles, can you hear me?”

Charles groaned, drifting his gaze up toward Hank’s face and giving a weak nod. He lifted his hand, weakly gripping Jean’s arm.

“We need to get him to my lab,” Hank said, helping Jean to get Charles back into his wheelchair, where they pushed him down to the lab.

Once they got down there, Hank did the rest and Jean immediately rushed back up to her room, slamming her door and lowering herself onto her bed.

She choked out a sob, lifting her hand over her mouth.

What did she do..


	6. Chapter 5

It was at least a few hours before Jean gathered herself and had the courage to go back down to the lab to check on Charles.

School was still going on, though it was only another hour until the end of the day. As she walked through the corridors and down toward the lab, she noticed other children staring at her, whether it was with contempt or fear she had no idea.

Though, she elected to ignore it, even though it was hard. Every once in a while her gaze would meet one of the children’s. That specific child would immediately look away.

She kept her head down as she made her way to the lab. Once she got there, she noticed Hank was talking to Charles, who still looked pretty pale. Upon closer inspection, she noticed that his breathing was still pretty erratic as well.

Silently, she swore to herself. She’s the one who put him in this position. After all he’s done for her, this is how she repays him? What a person she is. If she’s even a person. She considers herself more as a monster.

As she got closer, she could make out their conversation.

“How are you feeling?” Hank asked.

“The same,” Charles raised his hand up to his mouth and coughed harshly into it. “I’ll be fine.”

“That might take a while. I have no idea what she did to you, but from what I’ve been reading it’ll have some long-term effects.”

Jean shrunk back against the corner of the wall. Why did she come down here? She shouldn’t be here-

“It’s not her fault, Hank,” Charles said, clearly reading the man’s mind.

“How did you kn—“

Charles lifted his shaking hand and poked the side of his head. “Psychic, remember?”

“Oh, right..” Hank muttered.

“If she truly wanted to hurt me, she would have made it a lot worse,” Charles said. “Her mind is extremely powerful, even more so than mine. Her powers are harder to control.”

“I know,” Hank replied. “But one day she’s going to—“

“Kill someone?” Jean answered, stepping forward. “Yeah. I probably will.”

Hank blinked in surprise. “Jean—How long-“

“Long enough to know you don’t trust me,” She replied, sounding genuinely hurt but understanding. “I don’t blame you, though. I don’t trust myself either.”

“Then you can—“

Jean growled, annoyed. Hank had never acted like this near her before.

“What is wrong with you, Hank? You’ve never had a problem with me until now,” She stepped toward him, but froze when his expression shifted into fear for a split second before immediately returning to how it was before. 

It was only a split second, but she saw it.

He was scared of her.

Her eyes widened. She didn’t even need to read his mind. “You’re scared of me.”

She swallowed hard and nodded. “I get it. I’m not safe to be around I don’t even know why I’m down here—“ She turned to leave.

“Jean,” Charles pitched in, brows furrowing. “Jean, it’s okay.”

He turned and glared at Hank. “What happened, Hank? You’ve never acted this harsh toward anyone. You aren’t yourself.”

Jean turned back around, meeting Hank’s untrusting gaze.

“It’s not that I’m scared of you, Jean. I just don’t trust you.”

“What’s the difference?!” Jean nearly screamed. She could feel the energy building up inside her as she stepped closer to him. “A few hours ago you were telling me that losing control of my powers was all a part of that ‘illness’ I had. Now you’re changing your mind and blaming it on me!”

Hank stepped backward as she got closer. He saw the light orange glow in her eyes and instantly felt like he made a mistake.

“Have you even given a crap about me in the first place?” She asked, now completely blinded by the betrayal she was feeling. 

“Jean,” Charles gasped, knowing full well what was about to happen. “Jean, calm down.”

But she paid absolutely no attention. And soon, she had Hank cornered.

“I bet that was all fake too. Wasn’t it?” She asked.

“What are you going to do? Kill me?” Hank asked.

That hit HARD.

Jean stumbled backward as if she’d been struck. She didn’t even notice when Hank shifted into his beast form and didn’t see the claw flying toward her face.

“HANK, NO-“ Charles threw his hand up to his head in attempt to stop him, but it wasn’t enough time.

Jean yelled out in sudden pain as the claw dug in to her cheek. She stumbled backward and suddenly threw her fist out. Hank stopped in his tracks, hand going to his throat as he choked.

She pulled it back and slammed him right through the wall, chest heaving in anger. Once she calmed down, she winced, feeling the tears stinging her eyes as she wiped some of the blood off her face.

“Jean?” Charles asked.

She turned toward him, her entire body shaking with the exhaustion and the disbelief of what just happened. 

“I’m sorry..” She whispered. 

Charles’ brows furrowed. “It’s alright.”

She walked over to him, nervous and unsure of herself as she leaned down and hugged him, feeling her body continue to tremble with upright fear as he returned the embrace.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” She choked. “I wasn’t trying to I don’t know what happened..”

“I know..” Charles whispered, rubbing her back. “I know.”

He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled back, glancing at the deep cut she had along her cheek. It was still dripping blood.

“Oh dear,” He muttered.

He turned and reached over to grab a cloth sitting on the table next to him. He lifted it up and pressed it against the wound.

Jean winced, but visibly relaxed some compared to earlier.

“I’m very sorry about what Hank said..” Charles apologized. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him, but nothing of what he said is true.”

Jean nodded, pulling a bench over with her telekinesis and sitting down while Charles tended to her wound.

“But he’s scared of me..” She muttered.

Charles chuckled. “I doubt that’s true. He knows as well as I that it’s not your fault. Your mind is significantly more powerful than even mine.”

Jean gave a small smile, staring down at her legs.

“You can’t even control them.”

Jean spun around, seeing Hank standing where he had broken through the wall, still in beast form.

“And she’ll learn,” Charles said.

Hank laughed. “Yeah. She can’t do that either. You’ll just kill everyone.”

“That’s not true-“ Jean said, offended. But deep inside she knew this wasn’t Hank.

Before she knew it, Beast was charging toward her. Without thinking, she shot to her feet, extending her hand. He stopped a few feet from hers

“I can control them,” She said. “To a certain extent, at least.”

She bawled her hands into fists and Beast was thrown past her.

Her eyes followed his every movements as he got to his feet. 

“Hank, stop!” She shouted, taking another step backward and holding Hank mid-air in front of her.

“Not when we’re housing a maniac,” He growled.

Following his statement, there was a sudden explosion above them. They all looked up.

“Jean!” Charles shouted. 

She nodded, throwing Beast away from her as she aimed her hands toward the ceiling, holding it together. But then something hit her in the back and the pieces came tumbling down.

“NO-“

Her head hit the floor, then she was out.


End file.
